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I’m having an anxiety attack. It’s almost midnight christmas eve. I am supposed to go to my moms tomorrow for christmas festivitys. I’m still not ready to pretend that there’s glammer and candalabra when i’m drinking by candle light. I just know that i am going to end up going off on everyone and making an ass of myself. I don’t want to go. I shouldn’t go. but i’m going to go. No good can come of this.

I’m trying to calm myself by listening to calming music, but it aint working. I thought getting it out on here would help a bit. I’m not sure that it is. Maybe i need a nice long hot shower and some rest. Maybe i’ll feel better in the morning. What do you think? God.. I need to stop freaking out and chill. Maybe some happy music. … Here’s the thing, we started out friends. It was cool but it was all pretend. :-)

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